Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Toxic Relations


How do you decide when it’s time to move on from a relationship? When does compromise run out? I personally used to be a person that would continue to try to “work it out” with my significant other. I made excuses for him, I prayed for transformation, I exhausted myself carrying a dead relationship. I lost myself in my quest to create a family of my own and to love someone who, at the end of the day, did not love me but loved the convenience of being with me. What a bitter pill that was to swallow? To come to the realization that you are not the love of someone’s life, just the one that made their life easy; that you are not the apple of their eye, but simply the one providing the apples. And, when you get to the point that you are drained emotionally, that when you look in the mirror and you no longer recognize the person staring back at you, the twinkle that used to be in your eye is non-existent and your zest for life and love is lacking or has completely dissipated into oblivion, you must find enough strength to leave that situation. If a relationship you’re in is suffocating you and you have lost your sense of joy—you need to do like the power company does to the electricity when you don’t pay your bill—CUT IT OFF! I had to learn the hard way that some people are leeches; they will suck the life from you. But, only if you allow them. The situation with your significant other should give you life, not take it. If you are not receiving what you are giving, if there isn’t a fair exchange, you need to reevaluate your relationship. Things will never be 50/50. But if there is no middle road in which you meet, if you are not fulfilled, and your significant other is not making any attempt to try to meet you halfway, you need to make a change. No, I am no relationship guru but I have been burnt enough to know that if there is smoke, 9 times out of 10 there is fire. Years pass by really quickly and I do not want anyone to be like I was ,looking around wondering where time had gone and trying to find out who I was as a woman.  Toxic relationships can be detrimental to your peace of mind and your emotional health. I want more from life and more for others. I pray for those who desire healthy loving relationships to have them, to live a life filled with the abundance of love and peace within their cores. I too desire to be loved as I love; not for the perfect person, but for someone who is willing to give as I give; to put up with me at my worse, to celebrate me when I’m at my best; to be as loyal as I am. I pray that for each of you.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

One Love,
Andre’a