Monday, January 27, 2014

Poetry post--"Excuses"

Well, I am a bit emotional and writing always helps me to regroup and focus so, here is a poem I would like to share tonight. I hope you enjoy.




Excuses


It is your fault, you say to me


I am always right, can’t you see?


I would have never done this if you hadn’t said that


Your harsh words bite like wind on a cold winter night


You have no sympathy when you speak


Our future is beginning to appear so bleak


Why make excuses so that you can behave this way?


Why make excuses for what you want to say?


Go ahead make your move, I know you do not realize


I see the end of us, it should not come as a surprise


Things with us began as in a dream


Two bruised and battered souls meeting on a plane


Made for each other so it seemed


But as time has passed, I realized it is my fault


To think the love I sought could so easily be caught


Stop with your excuses, I cannot take anymore


Stop breaking my heart, stomping it on the bare floor


Excuses are no excuse, I will forgive never forget


I am at my breaking point and my mind is set


I will not continue to take abuse and I will  not try to mend this again


Because giving you my love is a sin, and I have too much within


I do not see you worthy of a love so true, So love you know


What we must do


Part ways and begin again, reminisce about the fun and think


“Remember when…….”
I know you may say "Damn you are cold"
But your mind games are getting old
Stop starting fights that you will not win
Because in the end
We will remember we're supposed to be friends.
I love you to the moon and back
But this nonsense makes me want to get my bag
And pack
Sometimes we have to reason and listen
Or die being right in a love bare mental prison.


 


-A

Monday, January 20, 2014

Self-Worth

Self-worth as defined by the Merriam- Webster’s online dictionary is “a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”. However, I feel that it goes deeper than that. Another definition that I came across stated that self-worth is “the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect”. I think the world in which we live today has confused self-worth with materialism; the newest phone, “red bottoms”, having the latest and the greatest makes you assumedly “better”. The media pushes us to view ourselves through their lenses. Where is our sense of individualism? Are we so insecure in ourselves that the only way that we feel “whole” is by mimicking the images that media and that society feed us. Do not misunderstand me, I love to dress nice, look and smell nice, and present myself in a positive way, however, I do not allow materialistic pursuits do not drive me to be the person that I am. I love fashion but I do not allow labels or lack of labels to make me feel less. I am authentically me. I love the person that I am. A dear friend of mine loves to say “No one can do you better than you”. Do not feel less than because you do not have or cannot afford the items that media, society, or even your associates say that you should or must have to be “in”. I have never been a part of the “in” crowd and that is fine with me. If you do not love who the Most High created you to be then you need to dig deep within yourself and learn to love yourself. You may be surprised, you may be being mimicked and not even know it. So today, look in the mirror and say to yourself “I am worth it” and “I am good enough, there is only one me”. Positive affirmations will change your outlook. “Change your mind and change your life!”

One Love,
Andréa

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Empress

Poetry from my heart:


Empress

Brown and solid as an oak tree

She glides and flirts

Quick as a honeybee

Eyes shine like rare diamonds

Her smile captures and confines them

She is a queen, the world her court

Never worried by confusion for she is not the sort

Her hands, gentle but precise

Her mind quick, calculating, concise

Men fall and praise on their knees

She could have them all if she please

Black woman, proud and strong,

Her love pure and lasts long

Empress they call her,

Admiring her strut

The breadth of her breasts

The rhythm in her rump

Her aroma enthralls

Crisp and clean as a day in fall

She is all-powerful and enticing

Worth more than her weight in gold or any other pricing.

 

-Andre’a

Monday, January 13, 2014

To My Mother

Mommy,
If I never told you, I am proud of you. I have seen you pushed down and held back by the tribulations of life. You have suffered abuse by the hand of the man who should have adored you. You worked multiple jobs to make sure your children had what they needed. I remember you used to have all kinds of jewelry and I also remember when your husband came home with no money and you had to sell all your jewelry to pay the rent. Remember when you used to play Barbie with me? I remember you teaching me to read when I was two years old and letting me use your library card because I was too young. Mommy, I thought you were so pretty and I wanted to look like you--big beautiful smile, thick, luxurious hair, and you always were dressed to the nines. Mommy, you had to bury your baby boy. How did you do it? I couldn't imagine how it must have felt to say goodbye to someone so close. Honestly, I was envious of you two. You were so close. Losing my father two weeks before was difficult. You remained friends through it all and my father loved you. He was taken too soon. So much loss in the family. Mommy, losing Grandma Lillie in the way that we did was traumatic and our family has never been the same. Remember when we used to sit up with grandma and drink coffee and reminisce. Those were the best times ever. I remember when I graduated from high school, the proud look in your eyes. As I have grown, you have always been my strongest supporter. Mommy, there were times that you did things that I did not agree with and we used to fall out and not speak for the craziest things. Oh, what I wouldn't do to see you strong like that right now. I know you are tired. I know you don't feel the best, but Mommy I need you. I need you. I need you to stay a while longer. Let me be strong for you. As I sit here and think of you, all I wonder is if I have been the daughter I should have been to you. I was a teenaged mom. I hung out in the streets. I rebelled. I am sorry if I disappointed but, I have turned it around. Mommy, I am more proud of you for making it through so much than I am of anything else. I do not have enough words to tell it all. You are still beautiful and so deserving of your name -Queen.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Poetry Share


 I usually do not share my poems with just anyone, but these days, I am all about pushing myself beyond my comfort zone. I find writing to be soothing to my soul and often I will write poetry to purge myself emotionally. So, below you will find one of my latest efforts. I do hope you enjoy.


 She
Strong, independent
Her walk is scented
Passion not freely given
She loves hard
--Relentless
 They come and beg
Speaking syrupy sweet
Expressions
Lying with every
Other beat
She desires to be held
An eternity if possible
One man to be there
Seems hardly from plausible
Spent nights intertwined
In ecstasy and sweat
But when she offers her heart
They answer “Not yet”
Her heart is bruised
Battered and bleeding
Live a fresh harvest
Ready for reaping
Shadow after shadow
Dark suggestions under
Cloud of night
Never experiencing real love
A Day in her life

--Andre’a

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Toxic Relations


How do you decide when it’s time to move on from a relationship? When does compromise run out? I personally used to be a person that would continue to try to “work it out” with my significant other. I made excuses for him, I prayed for transformation, I exhausted myself carrying a dead relationship. I lost myself in my quest to create a family of my own and to love someone who, at the end of the day, did not love me but loved the convenience of being with me. What a bitter pill that was to swallow? To come to the realization that you are not the love of someone’s life, just the one that made their life easy; that you are not the apple of their eye, but simply the one providing the apples. And, when you get to the point that you are drained emotionally, that when you look in the mirror and you no longer recognize the person staring back at you, the twinkle that used to be in your eye is non-existent and your zest for life and love is lacking or has completely dissipated into oblivion, you must find enough strength to leave that situation. If a relationship you’re in is suffocating you and you have lost your sense of joy—you need to do like the power company does to the electricity when you don’t pay your bill—CUT IT OFF! I had to learn the hard way that some people are leeches; they will suck the life from you. But, only if you allow them. The situation with your significant other should give you life, not take it. If you are not receiving what you are giving, if there isn’t a fair exchange, you need to reevaluate your relationship. Things will never be 50/50. But if there is no middle road in which you meet, if you are not fulfilled, and your significant other is not making any attempt to try to meet you halfway, you need to make a change. No, I am no relationship guru but I have been burnt enough to know that if there is smoke, 9 times out of 10 there is fire. Years pass by really quickly and I do not want anyone to be like I was ,looking around wondering where time had gone and trying to find out who I was as a woman.  Toxic relationships can be detrimental to your peace of mind and your emotional health. I want more from life and more for others. I pray for those who desire healthy loving relationships to have them, to live a life filled with the abundance of love and peace within their cores. I too desire to be loved as I love; not for the perfect person, but for someone who is willing to give as I give; to put up with me at my worse, to celebrate me when I’m at my best; to be as loyal as I am. I pray that for each of you.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

One Love,
Andre’a

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Resolve to Live Better


Each day I rise from my slumber, I first thank the Creator for allowing me to wake, and not only allowing me to wake, but to wake up fully functioning in my mind, body, and spirit. As we age, it is a known fact that our bodies deteriorate. Our eyes do not see as sharply, our body is not as agile, our endurance, at times, lessens. To ease the pains of aging and to experience a high quality of life, we must take care of ourselves holistically. We as a people, have gotten lazy, and as a result, suffer from diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and other chronic conditions at an alarmingly higher rate than other ethnicities. Yes, I am on my soapbox. I want to encourage you to begin to exercise, eat better, take care of your temple. We must also take care of our spiritual man. Pray, meditate, feed your spirit with nourishing words, works, and love. My great-grandmother used to tell me to do at least one good deed every day. The energy that we project into the world will come back to us. You are a valuable part of the universe and you only have one life to live. Live your life, live abundantly because as I say “life is good”.

 

One Love,

Andréa